Lord, I Believe.

This past week Chase and I have seen God's hand in the details of our lives. I have felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to my Heavenly Father that is hard for me to explain. I tend to be a worrier, and I can get stressed and overwhelmed about the "unknown". Chase and I are newly married, college students, which equals being poor. It can often be scary not knowing how everything is going to work out financially. For the first time this past week, it felt a little hard for me to pay our tithing. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I was scared and wondering how it was all going to work together. I paid our tithing in that moment, because I knew I needed to, and than I got down on my knees and talked with my Heavenly Father about my concerns. I told him that I had faith that everything would work out okay, but that I was still scared. I knew my faith was lacking. Then I felt Him teach me. I remembered the story of the sweet man who came to the Lord while he was surrounded by a huge group of people and asked if he would heal his sick son. His son had been sick since he was a baby.

This father brought his son before the Savior of the world and said,

If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.

Jesus said unto him, If though canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears,

"Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." 

I don't think it's coincidental that there is a semi-colon after the words "Lord, I believe" I think it represents the man pausing as he realizes that his faith is still new and limited. Then he asks the Lord to make up the difference. He asks him to accept the small amount of faith that he does have. It is with that man's faith that Jesus heals his son.

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says, "Observation number one regarding this account is that when facing the challenge of faith, the father asserts his strength first and only then acknowledges his limitation. His initial declaration is affirmative and without hesitation: 'Lord, I believe.' I would say to all who wish for more faith, remember this man! In moments of fear or doubt or troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited. In the growth we all have to experience in mortality, the spiritual equivalent of this boy's affliction or this parent's desperation is going to come to all of us. When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes."

I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that lets me walk by faith, and struggle a little, so that I can learn. I'm grateful that He accepts the little faith that I have and has compassion on me. I am grateful for the blessings that we see on a daily basis.